It’s 12:45 A.M.
I am a sleep researcher.
I should undoubtably know better than to be up on my computer nonetheless.
I should absolutely have been off of my electronics hours ago, drinking tea in a dim room doing some pre-bed yoga to make sure my arousal system is deactivated so that I could be in the thick of some incredibly restorative sleep. I shouldn’t have eaten those mashed potatoes at 11 PM. I should have turned all the blue light off on all of my electronics.
I also probably should have read some articles today for my thesis. Or re-written my research protocols to update our COVID procedures. Or written that blog for PsychologyToday. Or worked on making training videos for the research assistants in the research lab that I happen to manage. Or gone over my R coding task. Or gone on a walk at least to the mailbox.
But instead, I am here.
Why?
Do graduate students even need a website?
Well, to be perfectly honest—I don’t know. This may have been a colossal waste of my time and energy and become a really great and somewhat expensive procrastination tool. But here’s the thing I’m willing to give it a shot.
Why? Well, maybe the following:
I am navigating an experience that a few small percentage of the population gets (or wants) to experience. For those others who are, or have been, apart of this experience, some of these ponderings might be a safe-haven of relatability. Maybe even just for a pity laugh or a “I remember when…” or a good ole fashioned facepalm.
For those who have not chosen this path or this space, I hope that you gain some insight and approachability into the world of research. I hope that I am able to communicate science that I love in away that is engaging and interesting and adds meaning into your life.
Virtue aside—I also needed a central location to host my all my bullshit. I needed a place for my online CV. To build my consulting work street cred. To show versatility in my skillsets. To begin to break the stigma that someone who is in academia may also be involved in social justice issues, taking pole dancing classes, and work in wild spaces.
Rebelliously, I am always trying to find ways to stick it to the man. I deteset the idea that academics and intelligent researchers have to look, smell, sound, touch, and taste a specific way. I want to be able to post my obscure poetry, or nude watercolor practices and most recent academic publication on the same site and wipe my hands of the idea that it needs to be explained to anyone. Maybe someday that these things in amalgamation will even be seen as a strength.
And let’s be honest about something shall we?
I get bored easily. I am multi-faceted and easily distracted. That in mind—not everything on this blog will be about academia or science. No. In fact, academia and science may be the least discussed topic in the blog section in particular. At least in a traditional setting. This blog is more likely to reference what it means to be a researcher in passing while also highlighting art, the outdoors, feminism, music, social justice issues, civic engagement, cats, knitting, nudity, community building, R coding, anime, meal planning, queer content, laughter, disappointment, therapy, batman, productivity, eating noodles etc.
You know, the normal shit. The life shit. The shit where I do all of these things and I just so happen to also be a researcher and graduate student at the same time. The idea that everything informs everything.
And now that it’s 1 AM, and I need to make sure my actigraphy watches are all functioning properly for my upcoming study. I should go do my nighttime routine, hit that “event” button and flag my data set to let my coders know “oh yeah, this must have been where she actually tried to fall asleep…..god damn it sure did take her a long time.”
“It’s surprising since she’s a sleep researcher. She should definitely know better.”
Dagny Deutchman 